When I started this blog, my goal was to write about things that would encourage others. I hoped to post all the great ideas I had related to homeschooling (I must admit...somewhat selfishly as a means of holding myself accountable and on track). I also hoped to share any spiritual insight or growth I experienced so that my entries would be edifying and help others to grow in the Lord.
The danger with that lofty goal is that I could easily end up with a collection of blog entries that make it appear that I have it "all together" In fact, that was the exact quote that my sister emailed to me after reading my "Why I Homeschool" post. The last thing I want is a blog that is full of great ideas and insights, but that in any way puts its author on a pedestal.
I admit, I've read blogs that do just that......I read them because they have great ideas and gorgeous pictures of perfectly organized homeschool bookshelves, impeccably dressed kiddos who are involved in so many worthy activities (not watching Spongebob like mine were earlier today). The trade off is that I often walk away with great ideas, but feeling deflated because I must be missing the mark.
So why the picture of the empty box of Snack Well's Devil's Food "FAT FREE" cookies?? Because this was one of the many battles lost today. There I was, standing in the kitchen with the last (of twelve mind you) delectable cookie in my hand, poised to take one of the final bites......and my daughter walks up and asks me if she can have it. I want you to know that I struggled for a moment and didn't want to give it to her! For SHAME! Never mind the fact that I had already had the other 11 (not all in one sitting....but definitely in one day....I ate them in little "families of 4"....just like they are situated in the package).
If you're anything like me...and you're honest with yourself....you are morbidly encouraged by the realization that people whom you thought had it all together don't. Is that really so wrong? I don't think so. The truth is that so many of us women beat ourselves up about our failures and completely forget about all the victories.
The Enemy wants us right there....wallowing in our self defeat. In order to soothe our defeated feelings, we turn to so many counterfeit cures. Some put on a facade to the world that we have all the answers. We tell ourselves that others depend on our "wisdom" so we'd better not let them know about the piles of laundry.....the cluttered pantry......the empty box of Snack Well's Devil's Food Fat Free Cookies!
I treasure my relationships with others where I can be real and take off the mask. I can admit my weaknesses and failures and accept those of others. It is my prayer that anyone reading this.....(by the way...the jury is still out on whether or not anyone even IS reading this......but that's OK...I know God wants me to write it) will seek to know Him more purely and intimately and in that vulnerability that only comes from time spent at His feet, she will then be strong enough to be comfortable letting her weaknesses show to others. In our weaknesses, He is made strong..
2 Corinthians 12:9 says "...My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
So I am boasting in my weakness for Snack Well's Devil's Food Fat Free Cookies! Not because I think it's OK to eat a whole box in one day and almost deprive my child of that last one, but because it reminds me of how weak I really am. It reminds me of my intense need of Him in ALL areas of my life. It reminds me that I don't need "Devil's food" to feed my soul.....but I need the Living Water and the Word of God to satisfy me.
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