Why so often do we forego teachable moments for the easy (and so much less effective) method of a quick punishment or empty scolding? I can't speak for you, but I know in my own parenting, the times I choose the latter are when I am looking for the easy way out............feeling selfish...........feeling tired..............feeling inconvenienced by their bad behavior and how it adversely affects ME. I foolishly forget how adversely my children's poor choices are affecting THEM.
Object lessons are powerful tools to drive home life changing concepts. Sometimes it is hard to think of them on the fly though isn't it? Over the years I've heard and used various lessons that I would like to share below:
I have one child in particular who has a difficult time just saying, "Yes Ma'am" when I ask *him* to do something. It seems he always has an idea of how to better "tweak" my request. One night I was particularly perplexed at this trend and asked God for some creative ideas as to how to help rid him of this bad habit.
The next morning I asked him to pour some sugar into a small bowl. I explained that sugar is sweet and it is also pure and white. I then asked him to also go outside and get me a bowl of dirt. At first I just had the bowl of clean, pure, sweet, white sugar and the bowl of "dirty" dirt on the counter next to each other.
He finished his bowl of cereal for breakfast and wanted more. I told him, "No, please have a piece of fruit instead." He complained and tried to change my mind.
I then told him to add a handful of dirt to his bowl of sugar. Every time he challenged me that morning I had him do the same thing. We then talked about what happened to our clean, pure, sweet white sugar. It had been tainted.....dirtied by a sour and disobedient attitude.
**I didn't do this, but I think it would be a great wrap up if you actually went ahead and took the time to make some basic sugar cookies or something with this dirty sugar. Ask if he wants to eat any? Why NOT??? We are not as effective or "tasty" to our Savior or others when our lives are marked by disobedience.
*Memorize Phil. 2:14 together and post in a prominent place.
This is one that I have not yet tried because I don't have the needed materials on hand, but I do plan to implement soon. I heard this one from Lisa Whelchel. Get each child a piece of a 2X4 section of wood. When one says something mean to the other or purposely tries to annoy the other (PLEASE tell me I'm not alone in this struggle) have the guilty child go out and hammer a nail into that board. At the end of the day have him/her take the opposite side of the hammer and pull every nail out. This is a lot of work, which is part of the punishment, but the lesson goes deeper than that. The lesson is that our words carry power. They have the power to hurt and to heal. **Even when apologies have been made and squabbles have ceased, the scars remain. The wounded, splintered wood left marred by the evidence of past holes will likely drive home a critical truth about how "I was just kidding with him/her, Mom." is NO excuse. The lesson can be taught that relationships that God places in our lives are meant to be gifts from Him and treated as such. We are to bless others and not curse them.
Memorize Romans 12:14 together and post in a prominent place.
Oh how tweens LOVE to talk about bodily functions out of context! While not as definitively all out wrong as swearing, it still is not the best choice of topics for day to day conversations, right? I can't take credit for this one either, but don't remember where I heard it.
The next time you hear those gross words and talk come out of your little cherub's mouth, ask him/her to take a clean glass and put it in the (already flushed) toilet. Swish that toilet water around really well in the glass and then dump it back into the toilet. Then you can go over and fill it with nice, clean tap water and ask him/her if they want a drink. NO---DON'T LET THEM DRINK IT. Chances are----they won't want to drink it. And there it is: The Point. Drinking water is meant to be clean so it will nourish us just as our speech is meant to be clean so it can uplift and edify others. When dirty water even touches the vessel (glass) from which we are to drink, it spoils everything. In the same way, when filthy potty talk even touches our tongues it can spoil our testimony to others and make even the good things we try to say in the future not nearly as credible to others.
Memorize Proverbs 15:4 together and post in a prominent place.
The above ideas are just a few of the many that are out there. What are some ideas that you have? What have you done that has worked for you? I would love to hear your ideas as well. Please leave a comment if you'd like to share. After all, parenting isn't for wimps, and we need to stick together!
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