Real Life Monday!

I don't know about you, but here at "The Soup" home we are having a good ol' fashioned knock down drag out, pull out all the stops, typical MONDAY.

The problem with my Monday started on Sunday afternoon when I woke up from my Sunday Slumber feeling refreshed and ready to take on new goals for my upcoming, fresh, clean-slate of a week.

"I'll get up early..............I'll start back up at one of the two gyms to which I belong (long story how that happened...trust me there's a good reason for two memberships)"

"I'll set the alarm for 5:30....wayyy before I really need to be awake so I can finally get that empty spiral notebook I bought last week actually filled in with my prayer list."

"I'll get done with school efficiently and on time......maybe even early all this week so I can take pictures at the zipline and replenish the "Christmas Money" account that I all but cleaned out last month on extra bills and all the things that require money that seem to keep creeping up."

And then MONDAY came and brought with it--REALITY:

I woke up late to a sink full of dishes.

Confession: Sometimes I go to bed knowing that in my sink, I'm leaving a strong prescription for a really bad morning.  I mean who wants to be greeted by crusty peanut butter knives and noodle laden colanders?  Why couldn't my coffee maker be the one to tell my "Good morning, welcome to your Monday?"

And then I remembered another horrifying fact...........

Mondays are the dreaded "Sheet Changing Days!"

and bi-weekly "throw-laundry-on-my-bed-so-I-HAVE-to-fold-it-only-to-put-it-back-in-baskets-at-11pm-because-I'm-too-tired" day!

Notice that I don't write a "Housekeeping Blog!"

Mondays always look so "do-able" on Sunday don't they? 

I don't really have a deep, meaningful purpose in sharing this today.  I guess I just wanted to give others a look into the trenches of a typical Monday in this Missouri mamma's life.

What have I learned?  It's always best to look for the lesson in a struggle right? 

-I've learned to think carefully before setting expectations too high. 
-I've learned that you can sit and dream up goals 'till the cows come home, but you have to put a plan into place in order to make those goals a reality....or you'll be like ME...sitting still bra-less in your pjs at 12:30pm wearing too much elastic and not nearly enough make-up!
-I've learned that it's wrong to allow full sinks, stripped beds, and clean-but-already-wrinkled laundry taunt you into feeling defeated.

Happy Monday to You All.  May your sinks be empty, your beds be made, and your laundry folded and put away...............................at least by Tuesday morning right?!

Gentle Strength

My Grandma was gentle strength.

She was a sweet song softly singing peace to the hearts of little grandchildren.

She was practical creativity as she rubber bands bread bags to dry sneakers on a wet, muddy day.

She was delicate grace in her matching knit suit for Sunday services.

She was youthful exhuberance sitting in her den in her ball cap rooting for the Detroit Tigers.

She was the picture of love both given and longed for.

She was strength in weakness.

She loved one man with an intensity so strong it will burn bright enough to warm all those around her for generations to come.

She was wisdom and kindness and gentleness and weakness and love and loss and life and trust and hope for the future.

She was my Grandma.  My friend.  My hero.

My best memories of my childhood always include her.

She was 93 years of life and all the wisdom that comes with it.

She is complete now in Heaven sitting at her Bride Groom's feet.

In loving memory of my Grandma Gertrude Mizener who passed away suddenly, yet peacefully on October 19th, 2010. 

Object Lessons for Kids

I admit it.  I have caught myself ranting, "Stop Fighting!" rather than attempting to get to the heart of the matter.  It's sometimes so difficult to remember that God allows us these challenges with our children to give us opportunities to seize teachable moments. 

Why so often do we forego teachable moments for the easy (and so much less effective) method of a quick punishment or empty scolding?  I can't speak for you, but I know in my own parenting, the times I choose the latter are when I am looking for the easy way out............feeling selfish...........feeling tired..............feeling inconvenienced by their bad behavior and how it adversely affects ME.  I foolishly forget how adversely my children's poor choices are affecting THEM.

Object lessons are powerful tools to drive home life changing concepts.  Sometimes it is hard to think of them on the fly though isn't it?  Over the years I've heard and used various lessons that I would like to share below:

Complaining/Arguing/Negotiation Attempts/etc:
I have one child in particular who has a difficult time just saying, "Yes Ma'am" when I ask *him* to do something.  It seems he always has an idea of how to better "tweak" my request.  One night I was particularly perplexed at this trend and asked God for some creative ideas as to how to help rid him of this bad habit.
The next morning I asked him to pour some sugar into a small bowl.  I explained that sugar is sweet and it is also pure and white.  I then asked him to also go outside and get me a bowl of dirt.  At first I just had the bowl of clean, pure, sweet, white sugar and the bowl of "dirty" dirt on the counter next to each other.
He finished his bowl of cereal for breakfast and wanted more.  I told him, "No, please have a piece of fruit instead."  He complained and tried to change my mind.
I then told him to add a handful of dirt to his bowl of sugar.  Every time he challenged me that morning I had him do the same thing.  We then talked about what happened to our clean, pure, sweet white sugar.  It had been tainted.....dirtied by a sour and disobedient attitude.
**I didn't do this, but I think it would be a great wrap up if you actually went ahead and took the time to make some basic sugar cookies or something with this dirty sugar.  Ask if he wants to eat any?  Why NOT???  We are not as effective or "tasty" to our Savior or others when our lives are marked by disobedience.
*Memorize Phil. 2:14 together and post in a prominent place.

Fighting with Siblings--Not Being Gentle with Our Words:
This is one that I have not yet tried because I don't have the needed materials on hand, but I do plan to implement soon.  I heard this one from Lisa Whelchel.  Get each child a piece of a 2X4 section of wood.  When one says something mean to the other or purposely tries to annoy the other (PLEASE tell me I'm not alone in this struggle) have the guilty child go out and hammer a nail into that board.  At the end of the day have him/her take the opposite side of the hammer and pull every nail out.  This is a lot of work, which is part of the punishment, but the lesson goes deeper than that.  The lesson is that our words carry power.  They have the power to hurt and to heal.  **Even when apologies have been made and squabbles have ceased, the scars remain.  The wounded, splintered wood left marred by the evidence of past holes will likely drive home a critical truth about how "I was just kidding with him/her, Mom." is NO excuse.  The lesson can be taught that relationships that God places in our lives are meant to be gifts from Him and treated as such.  We are to bless others and not curse them.
Memorize Romans 12:14 together and post in a prominent place.

Potty Mouth:
Oh how tweens LOVE to talk about bodily functions out of context!  While not as definitively all out wrong as swearing, it still is not the best choice of topics for day to day conversations, right?  I can't take credit for this one either, but don't remember where I heard it. 
The next time you hear those gross words and talk come out of your little cherub's mouth, ask him/her to take a clean glass and put it in the (already flushed) toilet.  Swish that toilet water around really well in the glass and then dump it back into the toilet.  Then you can go over and fill it with nice, clean tap water and ask him/her if they want a drink.  NO---DON'T LET THEM DRINK IT.  Chances are----they won't want to drink it.  And there it is:  The Point.  Drinking water is meant to be clean so it will nourish us just as our speech is meant to be clean so it can uplift and edify others.  When dirty water even touches the vessel (glass) from which we are to drink, it spoils everything.  In the same way, when filthy potty talk even touches our tongues it can spoil our testimony to others and make even the good things we try to say in the future not nearly as credible to others.
Memorize Proverbs 15:4 together and post in a prominent place.

The above ideas are just a few of the many that are out there.  What are some ideas that you have?  What have you done that has worked for you?  I would love to hear your ideas as well.  Please leave a comment if you'd like to share.  After all, parenting isn't for wimps, and we need to stick together!

The Winding Road Ahead

So many questions, Lord

So many fears

As my anxiety wells

I hear Your Word in my ear,

"Child, this road I've paved for you...

These mountains I've formed.

My plans are for your good.

Walk in them and you'll be transformed.

You will walk this road, child, these mountains you'll climb.

You must remember I'll be here with you all the time.

Walk this road with Me, child, with every step trust in Me.

You can let go of your fears and watch Me take the lead."

I wrote that poem during a time of huge transition for our family.  We had moved away from all that was home to us..........moved halfway across the country without much of a plan as to what we would do.  We were in a time of transition.

Living with my Mother-in-law.

She was so gracious......it was so humbling.

Trying to acclimate to this strange and beautiful new state of NC where I found myself in awe of the mountain against the horizon one minute and the next hearing myself saying to my six year old daughter, "Honey, don't get too close to that snake."

Everything was new.

Nothing was certain.

I was afraid.  I felt forgotten by God. 

Have you ever felt that way?  Most of us don't want to admit it when those thoughts creep into our heads and attempt to take root in our hearts.

I have found that it is in those times when God allows us to be stripped bear of all the THINGS onto which we hold so tightly and to which we attach so much (false) hope that is when His voice is most clearly heard. 

He tenderly binds the wounds our self sufficiency has inflicted.  Allows us to be quiet at His feet.  And then He speaks true hope into our souls once again. 

He is always faithful. 

He always woos us back to His side though we stray and are so easily enthralled--sometimes by the very blessings He places in our lives. 

May we never allow His blessings to become our idols.

May we always trust Him though we cannot see beyond the curve in that winding road ahead.

Teaching History Chronologically

Story.


It's one of the most powerful things in this life.


It was Jesus' preferred method of teaching crucial truths to His followers.


Over the years in our homeschool there have been many ideas that have been attempted and then pitched because they just didn't work for us, but one thing that has withstood the test of time and change is teaching the kids history (His-story) in the order that it all unfolded.


I will share with you what we do and my absolute favorite tool for doing it.  Here's the cool thing...my favorite tool is so simple that it can be used even if you don't homeschool your children.  I'll warn you that it does take some time and effort to set it up, but once that is completed it is smooth sailing from there.

I was previously introduced to this resource when we lived in Charlotte, NC at a weekly co-op called Classical Conversations.  Since we've moved to Missouri I've decided not to go to the actual classes any longer due to the expense.  We have continued some of the daily memory practice regimens by using our Veritas Press Timeline Cards.

The cards are sold individually and separated into 5 different groups (disclaimer: I am not being compensated in any way for my support of this resource).  Each card contains a picture (usually a famous painting, bust, or other form of art) representing the historic event on the front side while the back of the card has an explanation of the event and a list of resources to use for further study.  The individual titles of each pack of cards are as follows:

1.  Old Testament and Ancient Egypt (blue stripe)
2.  New Testament, Greece, and Rome (green stripe)
3.  Middle Ages, Renaissance, and Reformation (orange stripe)
4.  Explorers to 1815 (red stripe)
5.  1815-Present (yellow stripe)

The really cool thing is that if you click here, you can see the correct way to intersperse key Biblical events as they fall into Ancient History.  Once I had all my cards shuffled into the correct order, I laminated them and put them into two stacks with two large notebook rings at the bottom for easy flipping.

We use these cards as a daily drill with the goal of helping the kids to see the big picture and flow of world history.  In depth study of the events is done in a 4 year chronological cycle that repeats itself.  The second time through our study of the Ancients, for example, will lend itself to more critical thinking because the kiddos will be older and more capable of asking an evaluating the whys of certain key events.

So how are these cards used on a daily basis?  We start out with the first week of school (but you can start anytime) with the goal of memorizing only the first 8 card titles, and each week we add 8 more titles to the list.  This exercise does not require a lot of time and can be used in conjunction with any program you are currently using (I currently use The Story of the World series for my main history curriculum, but am seriously considering Tapestry of Grace for next year), and can also be a nice supplement to whatever your children are studying in "traditional" school if you do not happen to be a homeschooler.

Please click here for a video clip example of our daily drill yesterday.  Sorry for the poor quality, but I did it from my phone.

So Long Speed-Dating!

"Didn't you think about the fact that I was coming too?  Where is my chair?" I inquired in my most controlled yet incredibly annoyed voice.  It seemed that even though it was only 11:30am, I had allowed the events of this past Saturday to sour my attitude.  Due to work issues, I had arrived 20 minutes late to my daughter's soccer game.

My husband just answered matter-of-factly, "You can have my chair. I have to leave."  And then he was off--taking our son to his warm up for his football game.  It wasn't until I got home from our crazy busy Saturday that I realized I hadn't had a meaningful, loving, and purposeful conversation with my husband in quite some time.  

Our lives had turned into chaos management.  We have become experts at texting and quick "can-you-bring-a-gallon-of-milk-home-with-you" type conversations.  Sure, we would often sprinkle in "I love you's" and other such sentiments, but the days of true knowing had vanished faster than my hubby did after I snapped at him.

Then we went to church yesterday and this realization took on a much deeper meaning for me.  I realized that my relationship with my Heavenly Father had become an on-the-go relationship as well.  Our pastor made the comment that in our society "We try to speed-date God."  

 Wow!  Just like in that scene from the movie, "Hitch" when a group of singles sat there at tables in a large room and had quick 2 minute surface conversations with strangers until the bell rang and it was off to the next one.......How often do we have quick 2 minute conversations with our God who, many times if we were honest feels a bit like a stranger as well, until the "bell" rings and we are off to the next pressing issue in our lives?

Have we filled our lives with so many "things" that we no longer have time to actually dedicate to simply sitting at His feet? Are we no longer comfortable with talking with Him for any real length of time?  Do we fear the vulnerability that comes from being face to face with our Savior? 

I know for me, I justified my haphazard, on-the-go relationship with my Lord by using the "Pray without ceasing." verse.  I would pray all day long while I was driving, schooling, working.  Yes, we are instructed to be in an attitude of prayer throughout our day, but I wonder why many of us (including me) aren't willing to give more. 

The closeness of my marriage will not survive with quick texts and surface conversations.  If we continue with this busy pace, we will start to feel like we no longer really know each other.  You can't trust someone you don't know.

Likewise, my relationship with my Heavenly Father will not be a close one if I am not willing to give Him my t i m e. 

Dedicated time.......to really get to know him. 

I can't truly trust my God if I don't really know Him intimately.

So this week I am seeking to make     t i m e    for my most important relationships--the one with my Bride Groom and my earthly groom. 

So long Speed Dating!

Fearless

Here I sit in my basement hideaway.  I finally have some time to think straight.  I've been longing to blog about so many things.  Why is it so hard to start?

So many people are on my mind.
An acquaintance of mine lost a dear family member in a tragic accident yesterday.  She had two elementary aged daughters.
The old friend whose sweet daughter (who I still see as that carefree 6 year old swinging on the playset) went away to college this year.
My sweet mother who is trying to find her way after the death of her husband, companion, friend of her whole adult life.
My son who seemed to all at once hit puberty yesterday.  How in the world can you sprout armpit hair, the famous tip-of-the-nose zit, and have your voice crack and go high all in the same day?

All of these situations have been swirling around in my mind.......in my heart and have left me with those kind of deep feelings and thoughts that are so longed to be shared that you feel you'll explode if you don't give audience to them.

God is sovereign over all situations.  When I reflect on the prominent thoughts in my heart, the overriding theme is change.  Time has a way of changing us.  Of bringing new circumstances into our routine little lives so as to remind us not to get too comfortable on the soft couch of life-as-we-know-it.

If God is sovereign, then the change He allows bears his stamp of approval as well.  If He approves it and will walk through it with us, then there should be no room for dread on this trip, right?  Then I wonder:

~Why am I gripped with fear for how my friend's family member must have felt moments before her tragic death?  Why am I scared for how the daughters reacted when they learned that mommy was not here on this Earth anymore?
~Why am I scared for my mom.....afraid of her pain yet drawn to it because I'm drawn to her and committed to helping her grieve through this loss.  Longing for signs of healing.........sometimes searching for them prematurely.
~Why does the thought of my children leaving for college leave me panicked?  Will I have taught them everything they need to know to make it on their own?  Am I adequately preparing them for adulthood?
~Why does my son hitting puberty freak me out?  My little boy is gone.........being replaced by a handsome young man.  Will we be able to help him navigate the challenges, temptations, and pitfalls of the teen years?

As these questions fill my heart, it strikes me that my fears allow no room for God.  But what if........
And then there is that still, small whisper that says, If ........then I am. 

Indeed, He is able to take any situation and bring beauty from ashes.  Even my greatest fears, the ones I don't even voice audibly, even those are covered by HIM.  The question He is asking is whether or not I will decide to trust Him.......with every last fear.  Only when every last fear is surrendered to Him, and I lay bare, helpless, vulnerable in His hands.....only then will I be FEARLESS.